Don’t confuse codependency for passion

September 22, 2013 § 1 Comment

It’s easy to confuse those two, isn’t it?

Desire is not love. Lust is not love. Hell, in many cases, even passion is not love. These things are simply the sparklers which sizzle and pop and go out relatively quickly (if only to be found again at certain points in the relationship). But love is a much more stable thing, a thing of sacrifice and compromise and understanding that the person you have chosen is a real human being with needs and feelings and a daily routine that you must fit into.

There is nothing romantic about codependence, or about pointless arguments, or about turning every disagreement into a battle that no one can win. There is something very romantic, however, about the patience and compassion it takes to love another human being in a healthy, routine way. For someone to be able to wake up every day and depend on your presence and your empathy, for them to know that your fights — while a necessary part of life — will always be fair, that is love. It is not glamorous or unpredictable, but it is love. And perhaps it’s passion, too, even if we can only recognize desire when it’s burning our whole life along with it.

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